i am a voyeur

[wordy rambling post.. in a stream of consciousness manner... so don't expect it to make sense.. no pics sorry]

Do you know that song "Stripper" by Soho Dolls? There's a line.. "I am a voyeur" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBmgLuTGVis at 2:48. Anyways, that's the line that plays through my head as I write this...

One of the aspects of blogging that I like so much is the voyeuristic one... not as in peeping tom you silly goose, but as in I get to peek into your lives, if you'll let me. There are some blogs I follow that share nothing personal. Like the lookbook blogs. But then there are some, where I get a glimpse of who you are. And I like that. I tend to share quite a bit about myself. There's a bit of narcissism involved.. b/c sometimes you want people to want to know about you... but it's also an outlet... if something is bothering you, it's nice to have a space to vent.. and to get feedback from strangers. People tend to censor themselves less on the interwebz.. so you can almost trust their reactions better than your friends.

I tend to overanalyze people's actions and their words... when people say things that are meant to shock or impress, I can't help but think about it long after the fact and wonder about that person... I used to work at a CPA firm, and some of the managers (these guys are in their 30s) would always let it be known that they smoked pot and they would throw around terms like "hotbox" or that they had "mad munchies" or how they couldn't wait to "toke up" and really wanted to "roll a joint".. and for some reason this bothered me SO much. I absolutely hate it when people kind of brag about their drug habits. It's not cool. It makes you look dumb, insecure, and loser-ish. I don't give a flying fuck if you do cocaine (which, quite a few of them did).

But, who am I to judge? I am the last person who should judge anyone. I've done things that I dare not tell anyone. Do you have secrets like that too? Are there things you won't ever share with your significant other? I always want to know people's dirty secrets :) And I think you do too. Isn't that why we watch shows like Housewives of "fill in city"? The Hills? My life is very simple, uncluttered, and drama free. And I like it that way. But I love to watch those shows, and see what dramas unfold. I like to watch the women talk shit on each other. Priceless entertainment. And, even in the blog and youtube world.. we want to know what's behind the pretty faces. Hence, blogtv. You can ask the personal questions. There seems to be a need to know people's ethnicity. Not sure why... still thinking about that one. But, take Holly for instance. There's an obsession with her ethnicity! Why? Dunno. I mean, does it really matter if someone is Korean, Vietnamese, Irish? What does it do for you, to know this? Will you like them any less? Any more? For me, I like to know what people study in uni, what their career is. And I suppose it's b/c it tells you someone's area of interest.. and if they make money haha. I'll be honest ~ I'm very impressed by the hedge fund world and investment bankers. But I also admire people who have the guts to follow their heart and their dreams, even if it means a low salary.

Anyways, just wanted to share a few things about myself. Hopefully you'll share something with me too :)

1) I am very stingy. My blog name, "kechiko" is Japanese for stingy. For instance, last night I went to Trader Joe's to buy 5 packs of romaine lettuce, at $2 a pack, dressing, croutons, and grated parmesan... rather than pay for a ready made $10 salad in the financial district. I prefer to be frugal awhen it comes to things like grocery shopping and buying makeup, so that I can use my money for other things. For instance, if my mom told me right now she really wanted a designer purse, I wouldn't hesitate to buy it for her. Go figure.

2) I abhor drugs. And talk about drugs. I can't stand it!!!! I hate when people make little jokes on 4/20, about what they'll be doing that evening when they go home. Or when people smell pot, they instantly go, "Do you smell that?" Yes you fucker, of course I know what pot smells like. Whoopdie fucking doo. Who cares. Are you trying to prove how hard you are? How badass you are b/c you smoke pot too? Sorry, but I'm not impressed. I think my anti-drug attitude stems from my own experience with them... I have a "kind" face. I know this b/c all throughout my younger years, people would tell me I look so nice, and so innocent. Which bugged. Like crazy. So I rebelled. I did some naughty things (and V was right there with me some of the time...). And it scares me to think... I used to want to live in that euphoric trance forever, to get stuck in that world (and I'm not talking about pot.) But, I will say I got that out of my system and I'm glad for that. College antics seemed so juvenile after that.

3) I'm finally at the stage where I'm ok being me. Not to say I don't have insecurities, but things that might've embarrassed me in the past just don't anymore. I used to be so concerned by what others thought, how I might appear to them if I didn't talk a certain way.. conduct myself a certain way... Like I used to worry about appearing too book-ish, or too something. But now I don't :) In fact, I wish I were more intellectual if anything else! I totally admire brains, and geeks, and intelligence. And I hate people who shy away from that (*ahem* FOBS *ahem*) Trust me, to all you folks who think it's cool to not read books and to squat and smoke outside a club.... take a good hard look at yourself and where you are in 20 years... yea just sayin. Anyways there's a line, in this Utada song "About Me" from her U.S. album Exodus that I loooove (and it's also my favorite song ever) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-Y0DVfck-0&feature=related at 2:40 ~ "is it ok if I'm not cute and naive". And that line always used to get to me. Haha I used to want to be cute and naive! Hahahaha. Funny huh? I used to envy those naive girls in school who seemed not to have a clue about stuff.. and I thought to myself, "ignorance is bliss". And, I am so far from being that girl. Sometimes I feel so aware, almost too much so. Oh geez I forgot where I was going with all this.... so I'll end it now.

Does anyone relate to any of the above? Would love to hear your thoughts :)

And HAHA! I was jk about no pics... I know girls like eye candy... not sure about why on that one too... but we all do :)

Since I have no laptop, I dug through my phone for these:

1) (some of ya'll saw this on twitter last night!) My proudest achievement from blogging ~ learning the "skinny angle". I got that shit on lock yo! Haha jk.. you know I don't talk like that :p Just bend forward, hold the cam angled down from above eye level, and *snap* away! Tip ~ try not to get your camera hand/arm in the pic.. cuz it'll look ginormous and weird.

2) I miss my black hair

3) I admit.. I used to spray tan :o Call me an oompa loompa and I kill you!!

Bye bye lovely ladies, and have a WONDERFUL super duper weekend!!!